1. |
fourpercent
02:54
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I’ve just opened my eyes to the light that’s shining through my window
Today I’m 25 years old and that feels so wrong
There’s a ringing in my ear, my stomachs sick and it just feels
Like I don’t know what I’m doing here
Another
Hungover
Waste of my whole day
See I’ve been drinking every day for 10 years but that’s not a problem
I mean, it's a habit but then again, isn’t everything?
I mean come to think of it I don’t know what I can do today
I mean there’s gotta be a way that I can feel ok
I hear it calling my name
(Help me)
I hear it calling my name
This rooms like a jail to me
Empty cans all around my feet
And I’ve been dizzy since 2003
Four percent, the only cure for me
This rooms like a jail to me
Four walls don’t judge you see
And I’ve been dizzy since 2003
Four percent, the only cure for me
Another
Hungover
Waste of my whole day
Pick it up
Man I’m so tired, I can’t even think straight
I guess one more couldn’t hurt, it’s not ok but it helps me sleep
Send me to sleep
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2. |
In Vain
03:44
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Now before I say these words I know they sound cliché
But unfortunately that, well that’s just me
You see I haven’t had an original thought in so damn long
I even took these words from someone else’s song
They say the times they are a-changin’
But I remain the same
Just a figure in the distance
Another man with no name
These words are all I have to set me apart
And they still don’t sound like they’re from the heart
Nothing I do is heartfelt
The dead leaves on my window ledge remind me of the sun
We’re both starving for light we’re both starving for love
I guess I’ll never be the man
That I aspire to be
I mean if I were in your shoes
I wouldn’t bet on me
They say the times they are a-changin’
But I remain the same
Just a figure in the distance
Another man with no name
I can’t describe the feeling of putting all your hope into one thing and being constantly shot down
Being told your not good enough, that your life’s work has been wasted and you’ll never amount to anything
So that’s how you’ll all remember me
As just a cheap imitation
Of the man I tried so hard to be
If all of my time has been wasted
At least in the end I can say I tried
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3. |
Luna et Altum
04:44
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I’ve been trying to come to terms with the loss of my youth
I know it’s something I’ll have to get used to
But when I look at myself in the mirror
The reflection is not me
It’s all the signs that scare me
All the cracks that appeared in my skin
It’s all the signs that scare me
The signs I’m going downhill
I can’t look at myself in the mirror (no, no, no)
No I won’t look at myself in the mirror
The reflection is not me
It’s not me
And it just feels like I’m caught in a current
And it’s dragging me further away
From the person that I want to be
And now the shores just out of reach
I’ll never get back to the boy I used to be
I’ll never get back, I don’t recognise me
I’ve been trying to come to terms with the loss of my youth
But it’s just something I can’t get used to
Cause when I look at myself in the mirror I despise what I see
I want to feel like the man I aspire to be
Cause it just feels like I’m caught in a current
And it’s dragging me further away
From the person that I want to be
And now the shores just out of reach
I’ll never get back to the boy I used to be
I’ll never get back
So these crows’ feet next to my eyes show every smile and every frown
And these weathered hands built a life I should be proud of
How I wish I could be proud of it
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4. |
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I gave up all my friends, my family, my whole life
Just to feel like I was moving forward
Just to feel alive
These memories mean more than love to me
At least that’s what the people closest to me started to believe
I watched as people I held dear
Turn their backs on me
But the truth is I chose to be alone
I had everyone and everything and I chose to leave my home
Don’t get me wrong
See in the moment
This is worth it
But these moments only last so long but I’ll be left with a lifetime of no one
Late night drives
One thousand miles away
Have become like home
The only place for me
I gave it all away
To spend everyday
Somewhere else
I watched as people I held dear
Turn their backs on me
But the truth is
I chose to be alone
I had everyone and everything and I chose to leave my home
Oh God, I’ve never felt this low
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5. |
Black Marble
02:23
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I don’t know what to think
I don’t know how to feel
All I know is that I don’t feel like I’m really here
Maybe in body
But not in soul
Maybe when I grow up, maybe when I get old
But to be fair the seasons growing cold
And I’m watching leaves from the trees falling to the floor
Perhaps in years to come I will find my place
But as it stands right now I’m standing here alone
These lines on my face are getting deeper
Every time I look in the mirror
But my list of things I hoped to achieve is as empty as the home I share
The home I share with no one
Let me tell you a story about a guy who lived
He did his best, gave it all, had one final wish
That maybe when he’s gone someone will say
“Hey remember that guy, yeah he was great”
But in reality people just move on
And one piece remains
This song
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6. |
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My life is slipping away from me
I wish that I could find some kind of piece of mind
What’s happening?
Why is my heart racing?
I feel like I could die but I’d best stay quiet
I’d best stay silent
No don’t show any weakness
Just focus on breathing
Focus on living
I’m so stuck in my head
My hands are starting to shake
Oh god there’s pain in my chest
Oh god I’m losing my breath
And now the room starts to spin
My palms are covered in sweat
“Hold back the tears, just forget”
Oh what I’d give to forget
Why is this happening?
I’ve never felt this way before
There must be something wrong (something I can’t ignore)
I’d do anything for someone to explain (why this is happening)
Oh god it’s happening again
My life is slipping away from me
I wish that I could find some kind of piece of mind
What’s happening?
Why is my heart racing?
I feel like I could die but I’d best stay quiet
I’d best stay silent
I’d best stay quiet
See when you live with ghosts, you don’t see the dead (you don’t see the dead)
So what if all of these problems are not
They’re not just in my head
They’re not in my head
My life is slipping away from me
I wish that I could find some kind of piece of mind
What’s happening?
Why is my heart racing?
I feel like I could die and I can’t stay quiet
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7. |
Agnostic
01:43
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I don’t believe in god but recently I’ve been praying
I don’t expect and answer but it’s just a little comforting
See I’m not afraid to tell the truth cause I know you’re not listening
But the truth is, man, I’m really struggling
You see there’s thoughts in my head I never thought I would have
I mean, what if I wasn’t here, maybe they’d all be glad
See I don’t think anyone would mind because I’ve become such a burden
So I’ll just grab my drink, and pray this stops hurting
I’ll pray this stops hurting
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
I spent my life worrying about one thing
That one thing was me, but I know that’s wrong
But I can’t change it now cause I’ve lost them all
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8. |
On My Mind
03:38
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I’m so sorry for the things I put you through
And I know you find it hard to sleep when I’m not right next to you
But I’ll keep leaving just like I always do
Yeah, I’ve got so much life to live but I still need you
Yeah I love that you’re there for me when I come back home
I just never think of how you feel when you’re home alone
An empty house
A ghost in your home
That’s not what you used to dream about when you were young
But I’ll try my best to make you feel like the queen you are
Yeah every day of my life I’ll give you my heart
And I’ll have to leave from time to time
But every day I’m away you’ll be on my mind
This empty house is bringing you down
I’ve seen your smile it’s turned to a frown
But I swear my dear every night I pray that these words are enough to make you stay
And I’m so sorry my dear
Cause every time you asked
I just never had the heart to admit, I did it all for myself
Man, I just wish I could care
About anything that isn’t myself
So from this day on I promise you I’ll do my best
To make you feel like the queen you are
Yeah every day of my life I’ll give you my heart
And I’ll have to leave from time to time
But every day I’m away you’ll be on my mind
This empty house is bringing you down
I’ve seen your smile it’s turned to a frown
But I swear my dear every night I pray that these words are enough to make you stay
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9. |
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I am tired
Alone again
Dreaming of times that were better spent
A time where I could rest my eyes
And fall asleep without drinking myself blind
I’ll keep these thoughts so close
Cause they’re all that I have left
I’ll keep them locked inside
Too scared to damage my pride
I was always told to suffer
Told to suffer in silence
So when the world it bares it’s teeth
Don’t burden your friends for their guidance
Just deal with it all by yourself
Be a man, show some strength
I can’t deal with this all by myself
But men don’t ask for help
So if I need something it’s delivered to my door
No I don’t need to speak anymore
And even when I’m out with friends we’re all immersed in our phones
So I sit in silence and breath cigarette smoke
If I have problems I post them
Praying for answers from the unknown
Tell me when did an icon become more than someone I adore?
I was always told to suffer
Told to suffer in silence
So when the world it bares it’s teeth
Don’t burden your friends for their guidance
Just deal with it all by yourself
Be a man, show some strength
I can’t deal with this all by myself
But men don’t ask for help
See from a young age you’re told boys don’t cry, men don’t have feelings and never to share your thoughts or anxieties with anyone incase you look weak
But sometimes
I just wish I could talk to someone
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10. |
Venom
03:32
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I'm not a strong man
Both in the physical sense and my mental health
See I struggle coping with a fear, a fear of death
I shake, my eyes well
I'm not scared of heaven, not scared of hell
I'm just terrified of not being here
Now I know this sounds messed up but there's times I feel like ending it all
Just to give myself a rest from being so stuck in my head
I'm so stuck in my head
What I wouldn't give to lay in my bed, and not just dream about my death
This fear is not irrational
You see when I was just a boy
I seen my father die in front of my eyes
And as I get older I'm starting to feel
Like if it happened to him it could happen to me
There's no day without the night
There's no dark without the light
There's no life without death, we all take one last breath
This feeble heart inside our chests will stop beating and put us to rest
There's no day without the night
There's no dark without the light
There's no life without death, we all take one last breath
This feeble heart inside our chests will stop beating and put us all to rest
So let me ask you what's worse
To live in fear from the bite of the snake, or to present your hand, watch its fangs pierce your skin, and know in that moment, that you'll never be scared again?
I guess I'll never be scared again
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11. |
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Ladies and gentlemen please listen to my voice
Let it vibrate through your ears and let it shiver through your bones
Cause what I have to say is gonna make you feel alone
But once you understand it'll make you feel at home
You see a wise man told me you'd care a lot less about what people think of you when you realise how seldom they do
Now let me explain
See in your life, you are the main character
So everything you do matters
And all those other people you see, well they're just other actors
So the guy you past at 4pm who was running for his train
Well to you he's just an extra, but to him, you're just the same
So here's where we get to the point of this song
There is no weaker number than the number one
You see when you die
The man you past on the street
Well he won't care
I mean you didn't even meet
But if you knew that guy
Called him your friend, your family, your brother
Well now you're a two
And now you can live forever
Cause now when you fade away
He'd be filled with regret
And he'd carry your spirit
Till the day you re-met
I guess what I’m trying to say is
We only exist when we exist together
We only exist when we exist together
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12. |
21:36
03:20
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I find comfort in star draped skies
And the sound of the waves just crashing by
See I’ve been thinking ‘bout what happens to life after death
And I've been thinking I’m not far from my last breath
It’s just that I can see the shore with the boats and the flags
And I can see my father standing there with love in his eyes
And I can feel the sun beating down through the skies
And there will be no clouds above me
I’ve always had a vision of heaven
And there ain’t no pearly gates
It’s just a beach outside my hometown
Where all my loved ones wait
And I’m tempted to take a visit
And see them all because
This world has pulled me under
Just like it always does
“Keep you’re head up, things can’t get worse”
Yeah sure I’ve lost my world but it couldn’t get worse
I’ve got a feeling they just say that ‘cause they don’t know what else to say, I mean I get it everyday
And I totally understand
I’m not asking you to hold my hand
I’m just saying it out loud to acknowledge that it’s how I feel
It’s how I feel
I guess it’s getting real
These people don’t know what’s on my mind
The train display, it shows the time
21:36 I should be in bed
21:36 I’m going there instead
I’ve always had a vision of heaven
And there ain’t no pearly gates
It’s just a beach outside my hometown
Where all my loved ones wait
And I know I’m gonna take a visit
And see them all because
This world has pulled me under
Just like it always does
Just like it always does
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13. |
Beautiful Mourning
03:54
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See when your young there’s a connection
From a mother to a son
And that mother, she’s the light
And she carries you on
See she’ll pick you up
And she’ll keep you clean
She’ll show you the love you so desperately need
So at no point do you think she could ever leave
She’s the constant, she’s the mother, she’s all that we need
So imagine my pain, I was only fourteen
And I was told that my mother was no longer here
You parted the clouds and shone down on me
Kept me from feeling so incomplete
But now I feel lost, searching always
For that missing light in the darkest of days
Because loves what you taught and loves what we learned
But it’s so hard to feel love when you’re not around
This house feels so empty; my father’s lost for words
He’s desperately trying but can’t make a sound
“I’m so sorry”
Bring her back to me
Bring her back
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t feel, I can’t breath
Bring her back to me
Bring her back
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe (I can’t breathe)
I sometimes talk to the distorted reflection in the bottom of my empty glass
There’s only one question I’ll ever ask
Will I see you again?
I’m sure the answer will come as no surprise
As I stare at myself eye to eye and whisper
Whisper the words, ”why’d she have to die?”
Why? Why did you have to die?
Bring her back to me
Bring her back
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t feel, I can’t breathe
Bring her back to me
Bring her back
I can’t keep going on
I just wish I could see you again
Bring her back to me
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14. |
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I hope to leave something to remember me by...
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Arising Empire Hamburg, Germany
We're Arising Empire.
Independent music company.
Home of heavy music.
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