1. |
...and I'm an Addict
04:04
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I canʼt open my eyes without thinking ‘bout you
Your kiss, stains my lips and Iʼm lost, floating in ecstasy
Youʼre never too far gone to come back to me
Now I feel you
Youʼre running through my veins
And this is never the way but by the end of the day my headʼs spinning and again itʼs
too late
Itʼs been a long time coming and Iʼve been waiting for the day
Where I can tell you honestly
Iʼve already lost control and Iʼm scared Iʼm losing even more
Well cheers to that
Well you can call it withdrawal but when youʼre not in my world
My hands shake and my heart beat feels fake
Itʼs like the lights get too bright and I go full fight or flight
Now Iʼm sweating, I just need you with me
Well you know what they say
Less is more and moreʼs ok with me
It always starts with just a touch
But then I feel my head rush
Yeah I feel you ruining my day
But I drink anyway
Itʼs been a long time coming and Iʼve been waiting for the day
Where I can tell you honestly
Iʼve already lost control and Iʼm scared Iʼm losing even more
Someone take this glass from me I canʼt see my way out
So hereʼs the thing I wake in the morning and I feel ok, a sore head but Iʼm ready for
the day and I think to myself, thereʼs got to be another way ‘cause I can be strong
and I can be kind and I can be anything I fucking like, so why do I resort to being
what I am, an addict, a junkie, a lesser man, well I wonʼt have it. And so the cycle
goes, wake up, regret, pass out, repeat, Iʼm so bored of lying to myself and I hate
what Iʼve become, someone pass the bottle, Iʼm done
And so the cycle goes
Wake up
Regret
Pass out
Repeat
Once more
Wake up
Regret
Pass out
Repeat
No more
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2. |
Chemical Counterpart
03:45
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Itʼs just a week and I could change my ways
Iʼve been taking these pills for all my days
But nothing changes if you canʼt take a leap of faith
Itʼs just a couple days, itʼs just a couple days
And I can hold myself accountable
But this chemical imbalance makes me vulnerable and Iʼm scared
So used to feeling cold that when the warmth hits itʼs too much to control but like I
said
Itʼs just a couple more days, clear head was a lie, too many thoughts in my brain
Overwhelmed but I still need to push on
Press repeat on that familiar song, it gives me hope it wonʼt be long
And that Iʼm not alone
No Iʼm not alone anymore
I got so used to the feeling of numb
That when my feelings rush in I wanna cry out to someone please
The pills are calling my name and if you tell me I should take ‘em Iʼll have someone
else to blame
Oh no Iʼm not gonna give up
Iʼm not gonna take ‘em
No Iʼm not gonna let myself down anymore
And itʼll take all thatʼs in me
Climb mountains and part the sea
Just to make it to the shore where Iʼll find
Some peace within my mind
Now itʼs only day two and I just want to sleep
My hands are shaking and I feel so weak I forgot what itʼs like to be this sober
How many hours till this week is over?
I lost my heart
To a chemical counterpart
Letʼs restart
Oh no Iʼm not gonna give up
Iʼm not gonna take ‘em
No Iʼm not gonna let myself down anymore
And itʼll take all thatʼs in me
Climb mountains and part the sea
Just to make it to the shore where Iʼll find
Some peace within my mind
Five days clean, I never thought it could have been
But Iʼm started to feel myself again, I know itʼs not the end but Iʼm proud
Of everything Iʼve felt, I wonʼt play the hand Iʼm dealt anymore
Iʼll pick myself up off the floor and move on, Iʼll hold on
Oh no Iʼm not gonna give up
Iʼm not gonna take ‘em
No Iʼm not gonna let myself down anymore
And itʼll take all thatʼs in me
Climb mountains and part the sea
Just to make it to the shore where Iʼll find
Some peace within my mind
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3. |
When the Lights Go Off
02:47
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Iʼm so sick of always hiding the truth
We all know someone who has dealt with abuse
And thereʼs no way we can let it slide
Oh hey, whatʼs that another bruise to hide?
Oh itʼs nothing, I just fell, and if I talk they could spend the night in the cells
And when they get out thereʼs a price on my head, Iʼll take a few small knocks not to
end up dead
So let me tell you loveʼs a dangerous thing
‘Cause loveʼll hide a side of someone and bring you peace, when all theyʼll bring is
pain
You get the blame
So when they tell you that you ainʼt worth a thing
But in your mind you can change them to bring you comfort
Trust me theyʼll never change
They stay the same
It makes me sick to think that when you look at their face you donʼt see the person
that I see
Iʼve seen you cower in fear when they walk too near
Now itʼs about time we get ‘em out of here
Iʼm so sick of always hiding the truth
We all know someone who has dealt with abuse
And thereʼs no way we can let it slide
Oh hey, whatʼs that another bruise to hide?
Oh itʼs nothing, I just fell, and if I talk they could spend the night in the cells
And when they get out thereʼs a price on my head, Iʼll take a few small knocks not to
end up dead
Youʼll never see that side of them
(No never in the daylight)
Youʼll never see that side of them
(No never in the sunshine)
And Iʼll always miss that side of you
That they took away
It only happened the once and yeah sure I was drunk, man it was all my fault ‘cause
I talk too much. Thatʼs right, blame yourself, ‘cause they treat you so well they just
change when the light goes off
They all change when the lights go…
Ainʼt it funny that we use that excuse?
Only when someone mentions abuse
I say we talk about it like it goes
We blame the victims and it really shows
This just canʼt go on
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4. |
Blue
03:47
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Weʼre running out of time
Weʼve crossed the line
And I know I said Iʼd think about it but I canʼt seem to feel
Feel how I used to feel
Iʼm just scared to say goodnight
And sweet dreams till the sunrise
‘Cause what if the sun donʼt shine?
I canʼt know what that feels like
Well I guess the idea of being a father always scared me
Responsibility, well I guess it doesnʼt suit me
But in times when Iʼm alone, I tend to think of what could be
The family weʼd start, could be a reason to keep breathing deep?
And just to keep me on my feet ‘cause I get lost
And Iʼm starting to feel so exhausted
So maybe itʼs just not for me
Goodnight darling, you werenʼt meant to be
I still see you when I close my eyes
I still dream of holding you at night
And I know itʼll take some time
And I know itʼll take…
Some time, to feel alright again
I mean can you feel ok, when your childʼs not around?
I guess not
But it was never your fault, you just werenʼt strong enough
You just werenʼt strong enough
We built your room
Your mum painted it blue
I guess that we thought that that colour would suit you
We built your room
Your mum painted it blue
I guess that we thought that that colour would suit you
And itʼs a hard goodbye
When we never saw your smile
So as a final gift to you
We name, you, Blue
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5. |
Living in a Memory
03:20
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I never dreamt in a thousand years
Iʼd be in that room with Springsteen in my ears
And your loved ones gathered around
With my head in my hands, try to muffle the sound of my tears
Itʼs like the greatest of all my fears
Tied up with the brother of my younger years
We always said weʼd grow old together
Reminisce about the memories that we shared together
And oh man, you should have seen the crowd as they marched down the street
chanting your name so loud
I always knew that you would make a scene
But I would trade my last breath for a might have been
Now that day just haunts my mind
I close my eyes, Iʼm back there standing right behind
With your image just staring me down
My emotions flooding in and I feel like Iʼm drowning, help!
This canʼt be real
Itʼs not possible for someone to feel this pain
I keep mouthing your name
Just praying youʼll jump out and say itʼs all a game
Then they lowered that box and it felt like a car just hit me
Man this canʼt be, man it couldnʼt be you?
And I donʼt know what to do, I just keep on crying
Everything is everything, but youʼre missing
You were my brother
Lost touch but never others
Distance apart but still joined at the heart
Living in a memory
Iʼll see you again when my light turns dark
Everything is everything, but youʼre missing
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6. |
Fifteen Years
03:37
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Well would you look at you?
All grown up, I barely recognise myself
Green eyes and an empty bookshelf
Let me know that youʼre still me
Iʼve been watching you for all these years
And I can tell you
Man, Iʼm so proud
You grew up with your head in the clouds and I love that
Just a down and out with a good heart like we aimed for from the start
Thank you for checking on our mother
Iʼm glad you love her like no other
And Iʼve seen all your friends
Keep ‘em around until the bitter end
Just remember
Through the years as the clouds roll in
That forever
We can brave the bad weather
I know youʼve had your ups and downs
Hey remember when that guy was pushing me around?
And I was just too scared to act
Now you tell me on the daily that you wish you could go back and help me
‘Cause no one else there would
That means we grew up to be good
I guess we grew up to be kind
I guess I grew up to be someone that I really like
And Iʼm so sorry to hear about Liam
I just seen him the other day
I guess life goes well for some
And the others have a darker fate
Just remember
Through the years as the clouds roll in
That forever
We can brave the bad weather
Itʼs been fifteen years
And oh how we’ve changed
It was a long road
But we made it out ok
Now donʼt get me wrong
I still have those sleepless nights where I remember that you made her cry or when
you got too drunk and your friends thought you might die
Yeah weʼve made mistakes and weʼll live with shame but at the end of the day weʼre
ok
Just keep trying to be better and help the others through bad weather
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7. |
No Love Is a Crime
03:15
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I guess youʼll never agree ‘cause youʼll never understand
Times change, and we grow, at your age Iʼd expect you to know more
And you donʼt treat me so well, are you ashamed of yourself?
I think Iʼve been holding on too long Iʼm sick of dwelling on…
They say that blood is thicker than water
But I donʼt know if thatʼs so true
I think Iʼd drown much quicker
If I didnʼt have you
And what determines blood
Is it support from the people you love?
‘Cause what if blood has stained me?
To think I shouldnʼt be as free as I should hope?
I find love in the places it grows
And I donʼt care about the people who know
Itʼs my life, my world this is how it goes
I guess youʼll never agree ‘cause youʼll never understand
Times change, and we grow, at your age Iʼd expect you to know more
And you donʼt treat me so well, are you ashamed of yourself?
I think Iʼve been holding on too long
Iʼm sick of dwelling on you
How can you be frustrated and so filled with hatred?
Towards something you have nothing to do with, man itʼs been getting me jaded
I didnʼt ask for your opinion
Iʼm growing tired of your dominion
So Iʼll say this one last time
No love is a crime
Let me describe the fear
That I feel when you walk near
Iʼve had to turn and run just so you wouldnʼt catch me with someone I love
I guess youʼll never agree ‘cause youʼll never understand
Times change, and we grow, at your age Iʼd expect you to know more
And you donʼt treat me so well, are you ashamed of yourself?
I think Iʼve been holding on too long Iʼm sick of dwelling on you
These thoughts are taking a toll on me
So Iʼm just not who you want me to be?
But Iʼll keep doing my thing
Never letting you feel like you win
Yeah these thoughts are taking their toll on me
And Iʼm done pretending that you canʼt see
The strain your putting on me
At this rate Iʼm never gonna be ok, I thought you were meant to love me?
I thought you were meant to love me?
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8. |
Rats
02:41
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Ainʼt it funny that weʼre so obsessed with how we look or we dress or if weʼre fitting in
the best that we can?
Itʼs like weʼre wearing a disguise to hide the person that lies behind the logos and the
size of our bank
And thatʼs just weird to me
‘Cause like what does it matter?
If my clothes donʼt fit your preference
That changes how I act?
Based on how Iʼm dressed?
And all my worth it just comes from money?
Well let me tell you man, I find it really funny
‘Cause Iʼve never met someone I cared for
That had a penny to their name but they were worth much more than you
‘Cause your judgement lies on the things you do
Itʼs not the money you make
Itʼs if you give or you take
And Iʼve cared for far too long
And now Iʼm moving on
Ainʼt it funny that youʼre so obsessed with how you look or you dress or if youʼre
fitting in the best that you can?
Itʼs like youʼre wearing a disguise to hide the person that lies behind the logos and
the size of your bank
Why do I feel the pressure
When I walk into a room
Like all the eyes are on me
Like Iʼm something to consume?
And itʼs all based on how I present myself
And how I let them see all my apparent wealth?
Well I donʼt get it ‘cause Iʼm just trying to be myself
But now Iʼm scared ‘cause they could leave me on a shelf and forget
That we had ever even met
All because of how I look or what I drive
Or how much money I have spent
You could be everything you ever wanted to be
But youʼll just be another name to me
Iʼm so sick of fitting in
You could be everything you ever wanted to be
Iʼm bored of what you see
So keep your eyes off me
Yeah keep your eyes off me
Iʼve been trying to please all the eyes that judge me, now I see that all that matters is
how I feel
Well you can call me a rat
Tell me I need to change how I act
But to you I say fuck that
Ainʼt it funny that youʼre so obsessed with how I look or I dress or if Iʼm fitting in the
best that I can?
But Iʼm not wearing a disguise to hide the person that lies behind the logos and the
size of my bank
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9. |
Ghost Town
03:02
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Let me tell you ‘bout something that I canʼt stand
It seems no matter where we go youʼve got your phone in your hand
I mean I thought that we were here together
But all you care about is that your life looks so much better than most
Itʼs got me feeling like a ghost as I just follow by your side and you continue to post
how perfect your little life can be, god forbid you spent a moment of your time with
me
Well itʼs just not ok
All youʼre doing is ignoring the moment
So you can keep pretending
Somewhere, somehow youʼre important
Honestly man, itʼs like an obsession
I never see you in person
Itʼs always through a screen, filtered to be pristine but thatʼs just not who youʼre
meant to be
Hey, hey
Just put your phone away
And we can live in the moment for just one god damn day
Hey, hey
Just put the thing down
And I can feel some real connection in this ghost town
So hereʼs what I see right?
You keep comparing yourself to all these rich types
And now you feel a little nervous
Why do you have limitations what a damn disservice?
So you just keep on spending
Keep on faking that your life is so amazing
But you know that in your heart your feeling cold
But you wonʼt change it youʼll just do what youʼve been told
How ‘bout for one day we break the fucking mould
Honestly man, itʼs like an obsession
I never see you in person
Itʼs always through a screen, filtered to be pristine but thatʼs just not who youʼre
meant to be
Hey, hey
Just put your phone away
And we can live in the moment for one god damn day
Hey, hey
Just put the thing down
And I can feel some real connection in this ghost town
I swear Iʼll give it up
Iʼll stop pretending that it means so much
Iʼll stop comparing myself to all the others
Iʼll tell myself itʼs fake and Iʼll stop living under cover
No
More
Lies
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10. |
The Cave
03:35
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So as the flowers begin to blossom
I feel myself coming out of the costume
That I dawned last halloween
I feel the winter months are so mean to me
And I reflect it in every scene that I play
Spend my nights alone and pray that in the morning I see rays of sunshine amongst
the grey
But all I get is just more rainy days
I like the cave
And yeah itʼs dark but it feels safe and Iʼm not ready to behave like everyone walking
the pavement
Theyʼre all exposed, to the elements and expectations of a life I should be living
No Iʼm not ready to thrive so I just stay inside
But I keep looking for the rays of sunshine
Peering through cracks for signs I make it back
So I ask a favour of everyone who ever cared, please swear that from time to time
youʼll let me cross your mind, and come visit the cave and ask me if Iʼm ready to
leave, and if I still say no, on your way out as you wrestle through the trees, remove
a branch and leave a ray of light to let me know that youʼll be back when the time is
right and weʼll walk out hand in hand when I have won this fight
Oh would you
Be the light to my dark
And could you
Comfort me and my lonely heart
Oh would you
Be the light to my dark
And could you
Pick me up when I fall apart
Itʼs not selfish to work on yourself
But I still need your help
‘Cause Iʼve been in here for a while
And I still need to see you smile
And I still need to hear you say that this is gonna be ok
And if it takes more time
Thatʼs alright ‘cause I will make it to the light
If you can promise youʼll be there
If you can promise I can meet you in the fresh air
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11. |
Recovery
06:02
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Oh man itʼs been so long
Living out the sorrows that I put in these songs
And if youʼve listened before youʼll see, itʼs always sad, sad stories from me
But I promised myself, I would try my best to get better
Iʼd take shelter from the storm and get out from being trapped under the weather
But thatʼs the thing with rain, it always comes when youʼre in the wrong place
And you can try to hide from the thunder, but when you hear it itʼll drag you back
under
Itʼll drag you back under
But I can see all the beauty in living
And I can feel all the strength people have
And now I know all the power thatʼs in me, I just need to walk the right path
So Iʼve been looking for an answer
To fix the broken paths in my brain
But then I think about the cancer
That causes others so much pain
And thatʼs when I realise that the human mind is so much stronger than I dared to
find
I watch the people overcome all the pain
To live another day in hope that we remember their name
So hereʼs the thing Iʼve learnt
Weʼre so much stronger than the hurt that we feel
And itʼll take some time but if we hold on to hope then in the future we will be just fine
Yeah weʼll be just fine
But I can see all the beauty in living
And I can feel all the strength people have
And now I know all the power thatʼs in me
I just need to walk the right path
So hereʼs the thing when I talk about depression no one understands the point, it’s
that Iʼm trying to get better and I need to get the feelings out of me, so when I put
them in a song it lets me listen, letʼs me see that they are small. But I romanticise my
fall as if the hardships are a ball and I just wanna see me drop it all. Well not again
‘cause Iʼve lost too many friends so I will make it through this struggle and Iʼll meet
you at the end
But I can see all the beauty in living
And I can feel all the strength people have
And now I know all the power thatʼs in me
I just need to walk the right path
And Iʼll forgive myself
For all the flaws that Iʼve been dealt
Because perfections found in pieces of art
That often look like their falling apart
And over time things weaken
And that can make us anxious
But maybe lifeʼs just an oil painting
And Iʼve got scratches on my canvas
And if my lifeʼs just an oil painting Iʼll learn to love all the scratches on my canvas
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Arising Empire Hamburg, Germany
We're Arising Empire.
Independent music company.
Home of heavy music.
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