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Noir

by Novelists FR

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1.
I cannot explain this feeling I'm having When I'm looking at these pictures Yellowed by the sun This weird emotion is sticking at my soul It numbs me to the bones These moments are battles I can't win Everything that I love is killing me And these lies won't save me any longer (can't save me anymore) I've destroyed one by one every beloved thing Right before my own eyes Slowly but surely One day I'll be part of the ghosts on your photographs And you'll forget about me when other ones come You will replace one by one every memories They will fall away and merge in the afterglow I cannot explain this feeling I'm having When I'm hearing these hearts singing Burdened by their dirge This weird emotion that's echoing with my soul is all I ever feared These moments are battles I can't win Everything that I love is killing me And these lies won't save me any longer (can't save me anymore) I've destroyed one by one every beloved thing Right before my own eyes Slowly but surely I'll never get used to this acrid venom That's shooting through my veins I'll never get used to this ice that stands beneath my skin
2.
Monochrome 05:13
I'm trying to survive these strange days This life can be such an adventure The world stands before my eyes wilder than it has ever been I forgot these old memories of youth that were caught right under the surface Forgot these souvenirs of you that were calling back the pain I never felt happy somehow But I'm trying, I'm trying the best I can I really wanna feel happy sometimes Really wanna know where the lights are But it only feels so wrong It's eating me alive I never know how to shorten the distance between my heart and my head 'Cause through my eyes, the days are monochrome I wanna feel the light of a new day But I'm so scared of it all... I'm scared this utter joy ain't lasting forever It's eating me alive I never felt happy somehow But I'm trying, I'm trying the best I can I really wanna feel happy sometimes Really wanna know where the lights are But it only feels so wrong It's eating me alive I'm trying to survive my feelings The joy is the ghost of a wanderer Lost somewhere outside of here Counting every hour
3.
I'm so scared of living my life in vain I'm always always craving for better vibes My hands are rough, my soul is heavy... But they've always held me down When my whole life was going south The three last years might have changed my life forever Now I just wanna break free from these towering walls To get this grey out of my mind (Just once and for all) 'Cause when I'm here alone with the silence, I can't feel whole No, I can't feel whole You know The road has always been the same But the world is changing I am lost Lost amongst the days I'm living I'm dreaming of a brighter way I've placed my heart on an altar Have set my soul ablaze In hope to save me from myself Oh you know we may walk under different welkins But when I'm drowning in your eyes I can feel that I am not alone anymore With the stranger That I see into the mirror Not alone with my fucking pain, again So don't let me... Don't let me think my life is vain; I'm so far from seeing the life through their heart shaped glasses I'm always always craving for better vibes 'Cause the world is mad, the world is crazy And it keeps bringing me down Each day my life keeps going south The three last years might have changed my life forever Now I just wanna break free from these towering walls To get this grey out of my mind (Just once for all) 'Cause when I'm here alone with the silence, I can't feel whole Show me the fire, ignite me I'm feeling so cold I wanna know why I'm aching Look in my eyes, tell me what you see I'm feeling so numb I need a sign to keep on fighting I need a sign to keep on fighting Don't let me live my life in vain I need a sign to keep on fighting Don't let me live my life in vain Don't let me think my life is vain
4.
I woke up again, from this recurrent nightmare The night has never seemed so dark I'm being swallowed by the abyss My life, like brought back to the ether My shadow is getting bigger And there's nowhere to run Get me rid of this chronic pain That drags me through the coldest hell There is not much left of who I've been I just cannot stop dreaming of the end I can't stop and it's killing me It's fucking killing me Someday I might find out where the bliss lurks Caught in a web of lies I found out that the truth can hurt Just like a blade, a knife I'm about to let go I just can't do this on my own The pain is haunting my nights I'm fucking scared of what tomorrow could be And each time I try to face the light I just don't fucking feel it Oh please father show me a sign The devil starts to sing for me The light begins to fade away I fear for my fucking life Someday I might find out where the bliss lurks Caught in a web of lies I found out that the truth can hurt Just like a blade, a knife I'm about to let go I just can't do this on my own
5.
Grey Souls 03:02
I see the eyes of a thousand suns Staring at all these lonely beings of carbon Lost in the desert of their souls Seeking a meaning to their existence A sense to their lives We are the desperate souls The children of a bottomless chasm We are the shadow of a dying world We're thousands, dead inside No constellation in our eyes Just dead stars (My poor friends what a sorry state we're in) You'll find no source of light Nor any answers in our hearts Just grey souls To numb the pain devour the soul like a black hole And let us fade along these monotonous days We're broken, seeking a way... Seeking a way out of this endless hell Confined inside the back of our fucking skulls We cower to hide from the light of the stars Back into the mire We're hopelessly drowning Our evils meddle with each fucking day This nascent fire will forever consume us We're thousands dead inside No constellation in our eyes Just dead stars (My poor friends what a sorry state we're in) You'll find no source of light Nor any answers in our hearts But grey souls
6.
A Bitter End 04:28
I'm so sick of these moments with you Of staring at all these stars Hand in hand like two liars I swear sometimes I'd rather be dead Just like the lights in your eyes The lights of the town don't shine like they used to How could I let this be? Oh how could I let this be? What have we got left except this long silence? We're fading out as the night falls down What have we got left expect this fucking distance that is standing Right between us? We're standing together on the edge like ready to burn We're staring at each other, fade along the days (we're fading) Denying a bitter end Our fucking dance is endless And sometimes, I'd rather be dead I'd rather watch us fucking burn Endless, our fucking dance is endless We're dancing on our graves I'd rather watch us... I'd rather watch us burn We're standing together on the edge Denying a bitter end We're standing together on the edge like ready to burn We're staring at each other, fade along the days (we're fading) Denying a bitter end I've had enough of your fucking bullshit To relive each of these lies Hand in hand, like two liars I swear, sometimes, I'd rather be dead Just like this hole in my heart My pain keeps growing like it used to How could you let this be? Oh how could you let this be? What have we got left except this long silence? We're fading out as the night falls down What have we got left expect this fucking distance that is standing right between us? Our fucking dance is endless I'd rather watch us fucking burn
7.
I've become a shadow amongst the shadows of your conscience Another fucking blood stain on these walls Oh I've been lost for too long within this garden of concrete Into this hell that your eyes have always been reflecting You stand alone amongst the statues of these corridors You're dwelling with a phantom between hell and home Oh I'm no one to you A stranger that calls for the rain I held on for nothing You don't seem to see me You don't even speak to me anymore Still thinking about just leaving and walking straight out the fucking door A stranger, figment imaginated Detail in haze, a ghost without the face and.. What, you ain't got no time for me now to be around Love you from a distance the second I left You see me now Check, is that it Mad, it's aristocratic Glass inhabits For the feeling it missed I'm shattered Fuck it our frequency never matched I never felt so attached In a black dormant heart I will react And I ain't got no time for you to feel Time for you to heal Time for you to see me through This could be us but I know it's just you This could be us but I know it's just you Now you would trade your soul For a fucking day out of your skin To get away from this house Where you ahve to face what you look like You hate yourself 'Cause you're a passerby in the life of your loved ones Aren't you sick of acting like you're fine? Oh I'm no one to you A stranger that calls for the rain I held on for nothing You don't seem to see me
8.
Your eyes tend to remind me so frequently The cold and distant light of these heavenly bodies I know too well that I'm the only one to blame, I'm sorry I knew where we'd be led but I just kept walking Now, I see the light, the fire devouring the coal Now I'm used to singing with the monster I've become To dream of the gold in the river Oh, the nights have become longer to stand And the dawn is harder to wake each day These nights have stolen the best And what is left should never be yours I'm fading with the gleam of a far-off firmament My soul weeps an ocean I can't seem to drain I'm drowning in these waters Sink as deep as I can sink I know too well that I'm the only to blame I'm sorry I knew where I'd be led I've spent my whole life Dreaming of a brighter light But I doubt you can ever realize That all these songs to call-off the jinx Might be everything this world has left me Now, I see the light, the fire, devouring the call Now I'm used to singing with the monster I've become To dream of the gold in the river Oh, the nights have become longer to stand The dawn is harder to wake each day I can't seem to live with these dreams of you Fuck!
9.
It comes in like a cold wind The spirit of the world we live in I'm holding a wave Go give it away 'cause... Are we looking for the answers? Or are we dropping to our knees and giving in? I'm running again Stop running away 'cause... 'Cause I feel exiled inside of my head Existing through this vivid dream Say that I'll feel the same (it's not your time) Say that I'll feel the same But it's now or never And I keep running away (Existing through this vivid dream) I keep running away (it's not your time) So I'm chasing the joie de vivre Not really knowing how it works I'm holding on a dream Even if everything around me collapses So turn and face your fears Thoughts rise, your mind it clears I feel it again, oh I feel it again Because I thought I needed somewhere to run Looking for home, like night for the setting sun Oh I'm shining again, oh I'm shining again Say that I'll feel the same (it's not your time) Say that I'll feel the same But it's now or never And I keep running away (Existing through this vivid dream) I keep running away (it's not your time)
10.
I've never really been proud of my life I've made a lot of bad choices But the chance that I was given helped me to change You know I've been running after something I was dreaming of And somehow it brought me the strength to still believe I'm not holding any fucking answer about that life I’m just trying to live mine Without putting my feelings aside I keep on trying to find my place in this world Let the light come in Show me the way before the night calls me again And if there's any price to pay Then just take everything I have ever owned I've never really been proud of myself I've made a lot of bad choices But the chance that I was given helped me to change The pain is sticking to these songs It seems to never leave But somehow that is what has always defined me
11.
She imprisoned my soul in a bottle Like a firefly And threw it again to the fire She drew me that life on a vacant canvas But she's gone with its colors We're playing a duet But the melody of melancholy seems to be the only thing we share Tell me the secrets of her fantasy How could I believe in this heaven that she promises? She's calling my name in my dreams I can't hide Oh she's in the walls, and she never falls asleep I feel her presence In these streets, in my house In these thoughts that I have With her cloak and her big black scythe This sharp taste of iron doesn't really leave (Never really leaves) Like calling her ghost through the mirror I'm painting my life on this vacant canvas with my own blood She's calling my name in my dreams I can't hide Oh she's in the walls, and she never falls asleep I feel her presence In these streets, in my house In these thoughts that I have With her cloak and her big black scythe I'm calling her ghost through the mirror Oh I know that I just can't hide
12.
Teach me to face what's lurking deep inside I'm crashing down right before you I feel broken, I feel downed With my face against the ground My heart is weighting me My icy soul is afire I'm running after bliss 'Cause I don't know what it tastes like But I'm not blaming anyone, no I'm way too much detached now Insensitive to your words And each time that I'm alone My fucking conscience tells me: "You're feeling sick of trying Of trying to bury the reason Of trying to heal the wounds in time You wanted to... To learn to love this feeling That's raging in your soul." Teach me to face what lurks within my heart I'm crashing down right before you I'm always hiding behind this smile The smile on my face So no one's gotta ask me if everythings okay Just read between the lines I'm wishing that you can see My sky ain't bluer than yours I'm way too much detached now I think I'm too far gone 'Cause each time I'm feeling lost My fucking conscience tells me: "You're feeling sick of trying Of trying to bury the reason Of trying to heal the wounds in time You wanted to... To learn to love this feeling That's raging in your soul." I'm feeling sick of trying Of trying to bury the reason I wanted to... To learn to love this feeling that's raging in my soul I've learned to love the thunder, until the sun comes back I've learned to love this rumble that haunts my mind It's never ever easy But I hold onto these lines I've learned to love this black cloud that haunts my nights
13.
Tame our addictions Keep us accustomed to this constant need of becoming someone Feed our ego and make us self-centered suns of a selfish world Lead us to the loss of selfhood We'll behave like fucking mirrors in these crowded rooms Make us the reflection of our thirst to consume And let us drown Caught in the shimmer of a misleading world this life becomes mirage And strays at the surface like unable to die Forever captive of our eyes We gaze at the world Our souls as deep as a gaping gulf Covetous of what might be lying elsewhere We worship the feeling born from the whims of a vivid dream and the love of our barren hearts We seek ourselves on a fucking sea of screen Fed of fictions Growing dim Damned to lose ourselves in a maze of lies and mirrors Fed of fictions, growing dim Keeping our eyes shut, facing our own end… …We still believe we'll be saved Caught in the shimmer of a misleading world this life becomes mirage And strays at the surface like unable to die Forever captive of our eyes

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released September 8, 2017

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Arising Empire Hamburg, Germany

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